Okay, so first the preznint says Iraqi prime minister Nouri al-Maliki is doing a heckuva job -- NOT -- and then Maliki tells the preznint to go f*&k himself, because Iraq's a democracy now and he can't tell them what to do, and then the prez is all like -- "Sorrrrry. You the man."

Meanwhile, back in the reality-based world, we learn that the whole discussion may well be pointless, because "Eye-rak" doesn't even exist anymore.

Thankfully, we no longer have the baby panda threat to fear. Pakistan president Pervez Musharraf appears to have that problem completely under control, to which I can only say, "Phew! It was close, but we dodged that bullet!"

Al Qaeda must be old news, too. After all, the preznint is on a month-long vaykay, and surely he wouldn't leave us to fend for ourselves if terrorists were a danger. Of course, he doesn't seem to care that there are 160,000 American troops sweating their brains out in 120 degree heat in Eye-rak, while he's falling off his mountain bike and posing for pictures at his ranch. Actually, there's not much he does care about, as Washington Post columnist Eugene Robinson points out.

"At least now maybe people will understand what I've been saying for months, which is that Bush doesn't care what anybody else thinks. He doesn't care that the Iraqi government has failed to meet its political benchmarks. He doesn't care that Maliki is getting so cozy with the mullahs in Tehran. He doesn't care that Republicans in Washington are getting so nervous about having to face an election with the war still raging and no end in sight."

"No end in sight." Isn't that just another way of saying "no strategy," "no hope," "no clue" and "no freakin' way this guy should be on vacation while Americans are dying"? Hmmmm...I think it just might be.

Wow, being the preznit sure looks like fun. Surely the troops won't mind sweating their brains out in the Middle East's 130 degree heat, so the bush can take Afghanistan preznit Karzai for a joy ride in Golf Cart One. (Scroll down, the comments are priceless!)

Why sure, dick, you can has more war in the Middle East -- now that you've sold $20 BILLION worth of weapons to the Saudis and neighboring countries.

According to Raw Story: "... the current Saudi deal serves two purposes, both of which are a direct result of the US-led war against Iraq and the regional instability it has caused. One is to support the Saudi rulers, while the other is to isolate Iran."

Although this deal made headlines, the U.S. has been quietly selling weapons to nations in the Gulf for years, and making plenty of domestic defense contractors wealthy in the process.

Of course, the bush insists the Saudis are our allies, even though 15 of the 19 people involved in the 9/11 attacks were from Saudi Arabia. Then there are the solid reports of Saudis playing a significant role in the insurgency in Iraq -- the same one that's killing U.S. troops. With allies like this, who needs terrorists?

No doubt you'll be shocked to hear that some people don't think more weapons in a region as volatile as the Middle East is such a great idea. Lawrence Wilkerson, former chief of staff to Secretary of State Colin Powell, summed it up nicely for Raw Story:

“This is quintessentially a diplomacy of fear and desperation and not of wisdom and confidence.”

iz a insurgen and iz heer to halp

The geniuses at the Department of Death -- oops, I mean, Defense -- have outdone themselves. They've decided the way to end the violence in Iraq is to give weapons to everyone, including the people who've been killing American troops!

From the blog Healing Iraq:

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Former Sunni Insurgents Now "Freedom Fighters"

Former Islamic Army Militants Patrol Amiriya Alongside U.S. Troops:

The "Amiriya Freedom Fighters," who the U.S. military is now funding and arming, are former members of the Islamic Army in Iraq, an Islamic nationalist insurgent group based in Baghdad, Anbar, Babel, Salah Al-Din, and Diyala, thought to be composed largely of former Iraqi army officers.

With support from the U.S. military and local residents, the small group of fighters was successful in driving out Al-Qaeda-led Islamic State of Iraq militants from Amiriya, a predominately Sunni district in southwestern Baghdad.

Dr. Ali Al-Ni'aimi, an official spokesman of the insurgent group, denied working with U.S. troops, but implied that the militants of Amiriya have broke away from the insurgent group, which continues to target U.S. troops in Iraq. It is also possible that the insurgent group - like the tribal fighters of Anbar - has made a clever tactical move to both eliminate Islamic State of Iraq militants from their areas, and to make use of U.S. arms and funds in preparation for future conflicts.

It's now official; the U.S. is arming all parties to the civil war in Iraq.

It's going to be tough topping this one, but the commandpost-in-chief has seventeen months (still!) to come up with something even stupider and more lethal.

Hail, Seizure!

Doctors aren't certain why Chief Justice Roberts had a seizure earlier this week. But right-wing nutjob Michael Savage diagnosed the problem -- it's the Democrats' fault!!

(h/t to TW & MT)

According to the White Haus website:

More than a year after Hurricane Katrina, the Gulf Coast is rebuilding and the Nation is better prepared for future natural disasters.

Technically speaking, yes, it has been more than a year since the levees in New Orleans failed. Actually, it's been almost TWO FREAKIN' YEARS, and here's what the "rebuilding" looks in the 9th ward, as of just a few days ago.

Yup, Alaska Senator Ted Stevens (R) has got him some good connections in the construction industry. In fact, even the FBI is interested the remodeling job on his home in Alaska.

This isn't the first time Ted's been in the news. His notions about the internet have their own wikipedia page:

"Ten movies streaming across that, that Internet, and what happens to your own personal Internet? I just the other day got... an Internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday, I got it yesterday. Why? Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the Internet commercially. [...] They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the Internet. And again, the Internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand, those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material."

Above, Senator Stevens and his wife in what you might call happier times. That would be the May, 2007, White Haus dinner honoring the senator's achievements, many of which are best described as "dubious."

Blinded by the glare of his own ego, the preznit "borrowed" graduate Steven Matthew Volk's sunglasses for this oh-so-candid shot taken when he delivered the commencement address at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy in May.

The address began with a fine example of the prez's rollicking sense of humor:

"The men and women of the Coast Guard know how to navigate the storm. We're counting on you to help America weather the challenges that lie ahead."

"Navigate the storm"... "weather the challenges" ... Wow, that's so dumm he mighta akshully writed it hisself.

ain't it interestin' that it took an expose in the Washington Post to shame the preznit into doing something about the disgraceful conditions at Walter Reed? Maybe if he actually paid attention to those troops he says he's supporting, he would have known the conditions were atrocious. It's not like Walter Reed is way far away from the White Castle. In fact, the two are only five miles apart, about the same distance the preznit jogs every day. On his real legs.